Nisemonogatari ep9: it’s hard and pressing against my boobs. That’s not what my karate master said.

It can’t be easy juggling your time between grown sexy women, horny and violent siblings, lesbian stalkers, supernatural lolis and the general good of those you care about.  Somehow Koyomi Araragi does it magnificently and poorly at the same time.  Though it does seem as though he’s spending as much time protecting the fruit that is his harem as he does protecting it.  Case in point: Nisemonogatari episode nine.

A promise is a promise and since Karen has done her part, Koyomi must bring her together with her high school idol Kanbaru.  The ever naked Kanbaru (*sweats*).  But true to Nisemonogatari form, it can’t ever be a simple trip.  It has to be awkward, it has to erotic.  It has to fit the routine.  So we end up getting the ridiculous image of Karen carrying Koyomi.  I had my fun and it’s all well and good.  But the show doesn’t really have time to faff about, so I started getting worried about when the show would get a shot of plot, as opposed to the usual shot of Viagra the camera angles like to give the viewers.

Say hello to Kagenui Yozuru, not nearly as bad as Kaiki Desshu from the previous arc, she still carries a heavy and ominous air around her.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s reasonably attractive.  My problem is that it’s peppered with the feeling that I could get a poinsonous bite from her at the slightest change of breeze.  And she knows way too much, too.  When she called Koyomi Devil-boy I didn’t think much of it because he is a perverse little devil.  When she made the “hornet” comment about Karen, I raised an eyebrow.  There’s nothing overtly wrong with her either, it’s just subtle things she does that lack any subtlety at all that cause her to stand out.  Standing on a mailbox and posing (though I should probably blame Shinbo for any posing) and asking to go to a closed down cram school.

After that encounter we see Koyomi attempt to get home and study when he comes across Mayoi’s path.  Oh boy, the debate that raged in Koyomi’s head before that encounter…  He almost had me believing he was a half decent person.  That is until he gleefully sprinted towards Mayoi and her…  her “boobs”.  Too bad that failed…  Did I say “too bad”?  I didn’t mean it.  It’s a GOOD thing that Koyomi was interupted.  In the middle of his usual routine of sexually assaulting Mayoi, another strange female shows up.  She too seems to be able see through their outward appearances and calls Mayoi “snail girl”.  Not to mention she’s also looking for that same cram school that Kagenui was asking about.  It can’t be mere coincidence that the closed down school was Oshino’s base of operations while he was in town.

Overall, good Nisemonogatari.  I felt a little bit “pressured” by Karen’s ass being so aggressively pressed into my face during the first half of the show, but I’d be a hypocrite to say I minded.  I wouldn’t have that problem if it were anyone else.  Though I am a bit less than happy that Senjougahara has disappeared again for an extended period of time.  It’s pretty awkward considering how intimate they were not too long ago.  I guess the show is having as much trouble juggling this harem as Koyomi.

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