Check-in Station: Infinite Stratos eps 1-6 (Your harem sucks, do it again.)
I’m not going to romanticize this at all. I hate Infinite Stratos. I hate the writing. I hate the combat. I hate the piss poor, one dimensional, generic characters. I don’t think I even care for the music very much. To help you visualize, this series is a log in a bikini. A bland, faceless, heartless farce of a series whose very existence I nearly find offensive. It’s almost as if they took something I love, like Tobasco sauce and poured on something I hate, like Mexican food and said eat it. I’m not accepting this sh*t! Other people may like this sh*t, but I don’t! A pizza and a blow job couldn’t make me like this show. Do you understand? If not, or if you still require some justification and reasoning in order to accept my opinion then read below.
When it comes to this show, I can’t say I wasn’t fairly warned. The previews clearly laid out the premise. They basically took the tried and true plot device of arbitrarily making the world function in a way where only a certain group of people (mainly teenagers) can command a certain type of machine or being. Then the only unique thing they did was cut that group in half and say that only the females could be pilots. Then they built their harem by having one male character who could pilot these mech suits for a indeterminate reason. I hate harems, intensely. But I gave the show a fair chance because I’ve learned through experience that not all harems are bad, and since I love mecha and ecchi elements in my shows I thought that even if it was terrible at times I may be able to survive the experience through my enjoyment of good mecha combat. The opening scene for the series certainly showed me that it could be possible. It was intense and beautifully animated. The CG appeared to be a natural extension of what was being accomplished in Strike Witches. But it’s obvious that the mecha elements are positioned far down the list of priorities. And even when they do pop up I’m generally less than impressed by the results.
The show’s main priority is clearly the harem that the series lead, Ichika is slowly but consistently building. This wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t find each and everyone of the characters to be infuriating or bland. The harem doesn’t work if you don’t care about the actual girls who make it up.
Ichika himself is the popular and prevalent generic male lead that I find so contemptable in so many anime shows. He doesn’t seem to have anything special about him besides his ability to have a penis and pilot one of these machines, and his can-do attitude. He’s extremely oblivious to the feelings and intents of any of the women who encounter him. It’s to the point where if he does eventually propagate, it would be a huge insult to every and any living being that has made an attempt to perform coitus.
The rest of the female cast mostly consists of characters so generic and bland that I fail to see them as actual characters. A friend of mine has a similar point of view and she paraphrases my gripes rather well. What I’m quoting is her rather RAEG filled explosion on why the series pains her so. My take below is similar, but a bit more subdued
“Every girl in this anime sucks. They suck more than the lame-ass guy which is amazing since it’s always the guy who is the most worthless thing in a harem.
All of the girls are just retarded and bad.
Japan is a fucking lunatic who has severe uncontrollable mood swings.
Britain is a snobby bitch with an awful voice.
China is so desperate and clingy, it’s just pathetic. She has stalking down to an art form.
France is… RAGERAGERAGE THAT’S NOT HOW BREASTS WORK. She’s the worst reverse trap in the history of traps. And her Hanazawa Kana voice just makes me rage more because how can I hate someone with the voice of an angel!?
Germany is so pointless at this moment that the only thing she’s done that I can even say I like her for is slap what’s his name in the face.
…Worse– I see people actually enjoying or taking this show seriously. Like, they actually LIKE these character, omg. France only has an upper hand with the other girls so far because she’s the only one who is not a total bitch, but at the same time, she’s like a subservient little maid girl and I guess that’s why she appeals so much to the retard fanbase of this series. Because she doesn’t put up a fight when the guy sees her tits or when he touches her or when he does anything.
Then, this is so idiotic, she goes to the school already so independent and whatnot and yet she suddenly becomes useless and cripplingly emotionally dependent on Ichika because he’s all “Lean on me, I’ll be your friend!” or whatever.
Plus, she’s like the worst man of all time. I’m sorry. How she even got through initial screening to get into that school is beyond me. Even if the family paid everyone off, the fact of the matter is the school runs independently which means NOBODY did any health checks on this girl from the school?? And who the fuck pretends to be a boy and comes sporting the girliest ponytail of all time!?“
That’s the Cliffnotes version of “Why this harem sucks”, my take in my words? Ichika’s first childhood friend (that’s right, he has more than one), Houki is just the most basic portrayal of a tsundere´. She’s overly emotional, violent, terrible at communication to the point where I think she communicates at a first grade level and shows no signs of an actual personality of her own. The problems are similarly replicated by the rest of the soon-to-be harem. Cecilia shows herself to be a completely pompous b*tch whose only redeeming trait in my eyes is her gorgeous mech suit and her even more gorgeous character design (I might need to pre-order that figure). She rolls over so hard for Ichika after their first confrontation that it makes me ashamed for Great Britain herself. If they were this weak during World War II we wouldn’t have a independent country on those islands right now.
Ichika’s other childhood friend is really no different from Houki aside from the fact that she’s Chinese. The French girl is the worst trap I’ve ever seen. The fact that Ichika saw her in their locker room in that skin tight outfit further proves how much of a complete blazing moron he is. As my friend Yuri-Girl said before, “that’s NOT how breasts work!” There’s also that German chick with the eye patch who is dead set on killing Ichika for some terribly weak, selfish reason. However, that only means through the laws of transitive harem elements that she’s going to fall in love with him some way somehow.
I could get into how much of a failure the scenes involving each and everyone of the members of Ichika’s harem are. Or I could spit venom about how much time is wasted on the completely trite harem scenes. Or I could complain about how the show makes teenage girls look like complete giggling idiots or borderline psychos. I’m not going to do any of that. I’ve spent enough time on this. This show fails at the characters and that’s all that matters. My viewings of this show stop at six episodes. Like a girlfriend whose relationship turned out horribly, I hope I never run into this show again. Good day.